Aloof Theory Part 5: remaining aloof in the face of frustration

Our last two games were rained out. One of these was against a team featuring three girls who played in the Queensland State side - the only club team I'd encountered with females. The other team were the easy beats languishing at the bottom of the table. We were all champing at the bit to take on both teams (for different reasons) only to be frustrated by weather. Thank goodness the sun finally came out this weekend.

Today was our first two-dayer of the season. We were playing the team that narrowly pipped us in the season's first one dayer. Time for some payback. They won the toss and batted (yep, bat first theory back in vogue again). I didn't mind fielding. I was eagerly anticipating bowling some legspin in the longer form of the game.

The innings unfolded. Wickets fell at regular intervals. The captain made bowling change after bowling change. Finally he brought on some legspin. Only problem, not me. The other guy sent down half-tracker after half-tracker, getting smashed through the legside regularly. He got spelled. My frustration grew. 6 bowlers used, then the captain started going through the opening bowlers again.

I attempted sending brainwave signals to the captain. No luck. I tried the oldest trick in the book, the old windmill warm-up. Nada. Didn't 3 wickets in an over prove I was worth throwing the ball to? We get no respect, us donkey droppers. Finally, after 4 hours, with the team on 8 for 194, the captain called, "Cookie, you're on next over".

The umpire called drinks. Okay, I've waited four hours, a few minutes longer won't kill me. As we walked off the field, the opposition captain called out that he was declaring. Oh, crap! Couldn't he wait a few more overs?!

The captain began asking around for openers. Noone was leaping at the opportunity to bat after 4 hours in the field. I was asked if I wanted to open. There was about an hour to go until stumps. I replied with a curt no. I know, not exactly playing for the team. But I was feeling stiff, sore and surly.

Our openers went out with the intent of lasting to stumps. Penitent after turning down the opener position, I offered to bat first drop and padded up. The clock ticked on. About 20 minutes from stumps, a legspinner came on. I watched from the boundary with interest. This guy was pretty good. Not quite donkey drop material but landing it fairly consistently on a good length.

With 10 minutes to go, the legspinner bowled one of our openers with the last ball of his over. Is it my imagination or do I play the part of nightwatchman an awful lot? I walked out with 3 overs to go, thinking if I got dismissed before stumps, I would probably explode with frustration. Not a good frame of mind. Hardly textbook Aloof Theory.

Willy defended stoutly through one over. This is the same Willy who got off the mark with a six last time I batted with him. This time, he had taken 20 overs to amass a total of 1 run. He was part Rahul Dravid, part Chris Tavare, part Jason Gillespie. The defensive parts, that is.

Next over, I was on strike. I asked Willy did he bowl legspin? Yes. Did he do anything else with the ball? No. My thoughts flashed back to that time I was stumped in the last over of the day. There was no way I was leaving the crease. The fielders closed in, silly mid-on, silly mid-off. First ball, straight on a good length, I dead batted it down at my feet. Second ball, another on a good length, pitching just outside off. I prepared to leave, the ball spun back in, a well placed wrong 'un. I hadn't picked it at all but the delivery was slow enough for me to dead bat it once again. Thanks for the heads up, Willy!

The captain immediately sent in two more close-in fielders. They went into sledging overdrive, chirping away that I wasn't picking the spin, had no idea what the ball was doing, a wicket was just around the corner, yadda yadda. It was all designed to put me off my game. In truth, I was loving it. One of my goals of the season was to be on the receiving end of some decent sledging. In the past, I'd never really posed enough of a threat to the opposition to be worth the effort of some good, creative sledging. These guys, on the other hand, had declared, risking a first innings loss in the effort to gain some wickets before stumps. Bring on the chirp, boys.

Next ball was a genuine donkey drop, short, pitched outside leg. Although there was only an over and a half left before stumps, I couldn't knock this back - I pulled it as hard as I could. The ball rocketed away over square leg, missing silly mid-on's unhelmeted head by inches. Off the mark with a boundary. Coincidentally, silly mid-on was the chirpiest of all the close-in fielders.

The next delivery was another on a good length, pitching around off stump. Hesitant about which way it was spinning, I was caught flat footed on the crease. The ball was a legspinner and I pulled the bat away but too late - the ball struck the bat and squirted away just wide of first slip. The wicket keeper groaned in anguish. Next ball, another good length ball, I got well forward and defended. Last ball of the over, short down the leg side. I tried to smash it for four again but missed. So did the wicket keeper and we ran two byes. End of the over.

Willy was left to face the last over. Again, he defended with the laser-like concentration of a nightwatchman, refusing to play a shot. At the other end, I mentally resolved to avoid running a single at all cost. And before we knew it, stumps was called. I walked off with a sense of elation - finally something went right today.

A week of anticipation should make it hard to achieve a zen like aloof state by next Saturday. To exacerbate matters, Wendy has offered to stay and watch next weekend. Conditions to almost guarantee an early failure. But with a whole afternoon to bat and 158 runs required to win first innings points, I have one simple strategy. Block the good balls, smash the bad ones. Hopefully I'll last long enough to have a good tussle with that legspinner - looking forward to that battle.

CriciWiki scorecard (still in progress)

Posted by JC on Wed 10 Jun

14 comments

Nope, our opening bowler. I'm beginning to think there is widespread discrimination against donkey droppers. He's an antidonkeydropite.

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