Aloof Theory Part 8: MIA
I had to drive several hours out of town on the day of this week's game. I optimistically calculated I could be back roughly in time, perhaps just missing the start. A little too optimistic. By the time I finally arrived at the isolated cricket field in the middle of nowhere, the game had been going for nearly 2 hours!
The batting side were looking pretty dejected. They looked up hopefully when I arrived. "Are you playing with us?" they asked. I inform them I'm with the fielding side. "Great, as if you guys didn't have enough!" It turns out the opposition only had 8 players turn up. I quickly consulted the scorebook to find they're 4 down with only 60 runs on the board. Hmm, we're doing okay. Effectively 5 down as their opening bat from last week failed to turn up. With our team languishing towards the bottom of the ladder, I bear their misfortune with great fortitude and rush onto the field.
I receive a healthy amount of sledging from my teammates for turning up so late. Fair cop. Watching the opposition bat for a few overs, it turns out our meagre first innings total of 154 runs is imminently defendable. The field is soaked, giving a suction noise whenever I try to lift my feet off the ground. It really is swampland! It doesn't hurt that we batted on a dry field last week! The batsmen are finding it difficult getting the ball off the square, let alone score runs. After a couple more overs, a wicket falls. 5 for 66. First innings points are looking pretty good.
The next partnership is stubborn. A young guy drops anchor at one end, an older guy tonks it around at the other end. Finally, Craig gets one to cut in through the gate and the old guy is bowled. 6 for 81. The next guy comes and goes, also bowled by Craig. He's bowling medium pace darts off a 2 step run-up. Hmm, maybe I need to rethink my 6 step run-up - think of all that unnecessary energy expended!
The last wicket falls several overs later and we win first innings points with 67 runs to spare (CriciWiki Scorecard). Finally, our second win of the season (out of 5 games). Although it's within our captain's right to continue the game, he asks the opposition if they want to continue. I lobby that we kick on. I'd hardly had time to raise a sweat! However, our captain is thinking about the beer at the clubhouse. Forget the beer, I want to play cricket! The opposition go into a huddle and emerge, deciding to call it quits. The game ends several hours early and we all head back to the clubhouse.
Feeling a bit frustrated at missing out on any action, I persuade Dexter to have a net session where we both bowl spin for a good hour. At least I got some cricket under my belt today. Next week, we play the only other team we've defeated this season. Perhaps a quiet word in the captain's ear about how I took 3 wickets in an over against these guys might get me a bowl.
| Posted by JC on Fri 3 Jul |  0 comments |
A glut of quicks, a dearth of batsmen
The exciting news for Australia heading into the 1st Ashes Test next Wednesday is Brett Lee has got his groove back. In the tour game against the England Lions, Lee took for 5 for 53, narrowly missing out on a hattrick at one point. Most importantly, his second spell found lethal reverse swing. England fans everywhere will be cursing the ECB who in their 2005 triumph couldn't be bothered hanging onto Troy Cooley.
More concerning is the form slump of Marcus North. In the first 3 tour games, he's managed only 13 runs. Why is the woes of a #6 batsman so worrisome? Because we don't have a single batsman to replace him. In their infuriating quest for an all-rounder, the selectors chose THREE ordinary all-rounders in the Australian squad. Not a single back-up batsman in the squad. When will they learn to select quality over mediocrity? We saw this coming back in May when the squad was announced.
I'm not even going to talk about Australia's spin options.
| Posted by JC on Fri 3 Jul | 6 comments |
A million reasons why Australia lost the 2005 Ashes
There has been a lot of blame cast around for Australia's infamous 2005 Ashes loss. Ricky Ponting blamed Billy Bowden. I blamed Ricky Ponting. Nathan Bracken blamed breath mints. Cricket Australia blamed the WAGS. Matt Hayden blamed God.
A new scapegoat has emerged. Damien Martyn has cast blame on the 2005 Ashes loss on Australian coach, John Buchanan:
"All comments by Warne and MacGill are right and you'd find that 99% of the group from that era would agree. They're just the only guys who've got [the courage] to say it. The management team didn't plan right, we had a not-very-good, quick preparation in Brisbane and then we landed and away we went.
We played a Twenty20 against England, which England still talk about, flogging us down in Hampshire. Buck was saying, 'It's only a muck-around game, don't worry about it' and we trained for four hours on the morning. So we went from the nets next door, busting a gut, into a T20 game where they rolled up playing it like a Test match and flogged us. There were a lot of mistakes made and a lot will never come out.
We got slack, everything clicked for them, they haven't played that well since then and they won't ever again. They built themselves up so much for the Ashes when the Ashes for us had dropped off because we'd won it so many times. For us it was conquering all things, World Cups, Champions Trophy, the subcontinent. The Ashes was just another series but for England it was their pinnacle and we just went underprepared."
Come on, Damo, you gotta release a book listing the "million behind-the-scenes reasons" for the series defeat. You've already got your title, "1,000,000 reasons why we lost the Ashes". Well, maybe trim it down to a few thousand reasons to keep the pages at manageable levels. Would make a fine counterpoint to Ricky Ponting's Captain's Diary.
| Posted by JC on Thu 2 Jul | 3 comments |
Thommo rips Punter a new one
Jeff Thomson talks like he bowls - slinging volleys that rip, destroy and ruin their intended target. He once rated Shane Watson lower than an allrounder's arsehole. Now he lets loose on Ricky Ponting's captaincy abilities:
"I thought Ricky was crap when he was first captain in 2004 and nothing much has improved since then. I'm not the only one who thinks that. I've always bagged him and everyone at home thinks he's s*** at the captaincy. He's a great player but captaincy is a totally different thing.
I couldn't believe it when he'd been picked as captain. There was no-one else to pick but Ponting still had no experience. He'd only captained one side ever before. How did he get to lead Australia with that sort of experience?
He was in a side that had very good players and now he's got a side that has average players. He's still left wanting. You see it on him - he gets frustrated. He worries when the players don't do what he's used to with the ball when he passes it to them."
Tell us what you really think, Thommo! Still, it's hard to disagree. In a scene reminiscent of that Simpsons episode where Ned Flanders cracks it and sledges everyone in range, Thommo then moves onto Nathan Hauritz:
"This is half the reason he's got a bloke in there who can't even spin a ball. Simon Katich and Michael Clarke have more chance of taking a wicket than Hauritz. Why go for a guy like that? I don't rate Hauritz."
Just when Punter was taking a deep sigh of relief, thinking he was out of Thommo's sights, he returned back to Ponting's captaincy:
"The choices he (Ponting) makes, his field settings and the things he does are never right. England have the edge in the captaincy department. But while England have a better captain, Australia have a better line-up."
Who else can Thommo spray at? How about Brett Lee?
"I don't see a place for Brett Lee in this side. He hasn't played for such a long time."
Phew, Binger got off pretty light. Finally, Thommo moves onto Mitchell Johnson:
"Mitchell Johnson is a handy bowler but what's really added another string to his bow is his batting - he's a really good batsman. He bats properly and is a good hitter of the ball. He's got defence and attack."
Wow, Mitchell Johnson might as well retire now. Compliments from Thommo has to be the pinnacle of any cricketer's career.
| Posted by JC on Wed 1 Jul | 0 comments |
Aloof Theory Part 7: donkey dropper and cannon fodder
Last week, I suffered the indignity of walking out to bat without any pads on: a feat so monumentally stupid, even Jrod saw fit to comment. This week, we turned up to the ground to find teenagers in the outfield pegging cricket balls at stumps. Get off our field, you whippersnappers! Turns out Pappy got his wires crossed and we were at the wrong ground. Another cracking start to the day!
We rush into our cars and speed off to the new location which turns out to be the most God forsaken cricket field I've ever played on. As Pappy described it on the mobile to some teammates struggling to find the area: "Drive for ages along Peel Rd, then turn left at Antarctica".
As we drive there, Will complains to Pappy about why the captain never gives him a bowl, particularly after he won the bowling trophy a season or two ago. I remember making a similar complaint to Pappy a few weeks ago (except the bit about the bowling trophy, no such luck). I realised just about every guy in the team is busting to have a bowl but there's only two ends of the pitch to bowl from. My dream of being a frontline spinner is turning out to be a tad more difficult than first realised.
When we finally arrived at the address, all we saw was a football field and a dirt road trailing off into bushland. We followed the dirt road which wound through what looked like a swamp, turning a corner to find a cricket field nestled in amongst the reeds. The location was so obscure, I was inspired this week to add a Google Maps feature to CriciWiki to help clubs more easily locate their cricket grounds. Here's where we played:
Our season is in dire straits - out of 4 games, we'd only won once. This game was crucial. Our captain, Thommo (named after his slinging bowling action), won the toss and batted. I was written down as #5 so I made myself comfortable, basked in the winter sun and found myself dozing off. Finally to rouse myself, I got Pappy and Dexter to bowl some balls at me. Just as they were finishing up, the 3rd wicket fell. I strode out to the wicket, patting myself down to ensure I was wearing all the requisite pieces of equipment.
Will of the 4 coffees was at the other end. Fortunately he hadn't had a chance to O.D. on caffeine this morning. I found myself facing a young quick bowler, possibly still in his teens. Will advised me he wasn't getting much movement. His first ball speared towards off stump, I stepped out to it but it swung away. I let it go through, nice delivery, good leave. Once again, thanks for the heads up, Will. The next ball was similar, towards off stump, but this one didn't move away. In fact, it cut back in off the pitch, a cracker of a follow-up delivery. Being just short of a length, I let it pass over the stumps. Even nicer leave. Great bowling but I confess I was quite proud of how I handled it. Would've been nice to know he was moving it both ways, though, Will!
Next ball was on the pads so I leg glanced for two. Then he bowled a full toss outside off and I drove as hard as I could. The ball shot hard and low straight at point, reaching the fielder at about shin height. He bent down but didn't get a finger on it and it shot off to the boundary. Thank goodness for crappy B-grade club fielding. Good first over.
At the other end, the bowler was channelling the spirits of Lasith Malinga and Jeff Thomson. He had one of the longest run-ups I'd seen in a club game, pounding in like he was about to hurl a javelin in an Olympic final. He had a huge slinging action. But the delivery, well, it was lively but a bit of an anti-climax after all the initial build-up. Nevertheless, the slinging action was like a red flag to Will who batted patiently against the other bowlers, steadily approaching his half-century. Against this guy, he tried to smash every ball out of the park. Finally, Slinger got one on the stumps, Will tried to deposit it over cow's corner and his off stump was neatly plucked out of the ground.
In came Pappy. Slinger bowled a chest high full toss. Pappy deftly steered it over third man for six (lamentably, the scorers only marked it as 4). I saw off the teenager at the other end and their opening bowler replaced him. This guy bowled useful outswing although the ball was 50 overs old at this point and not doing much. But it did enough to get past Pappy's bat and he was trapped LBW in front.
Next, out came Mick. He only had one shot in his repertoire and sure enough, first delivery, backs away, clears his front leg and smashes the ball over mid-on's head for two. Typical sighter for Mick. Next delivery, exactly the same shot, the ball goes to exactly the same spot. Unfortunately for Mick, mid-on had moved back twenty metres and comfortably takes the catch. I've only been out there for 7 overs and 3 wickets have already fallen. After watching 9 wickets fall from the non-striker's end last week, I'm beginning to think maybe I'm a bad luck charm. I decided I wasn't going to block my way to another red inker this week. This time, I'm going out swinging.
The slinger is replaced by an off-spinner. Perfect, love facing spin. At the start of the over, I cast a greedy eye over the vast expanses from deep mid-on to deep mid-wicket. Plenty of runs out there. First ball was flighty and full. I stepped out to it, tried to smash across the line to the on-side, played over it and was bowled. Beaten by the very thing that snaffled me so many wickets - greed, under-estimating the bowler, pre-meditation, brain explosion, take your pick!
I trudged back, deeply dissatisfied with only 7 runs. My season average suffered a Husseyesque plunge from 46 to 37 (noting that I've not yet notched a score higher than 34). Predictably, our innings didn't take long to wrap up, all out for 154. Afterwards, Mick tells me some of the team were discussing batting me at #3. The comment was quite flattering. He then elaborated with "that way, we can shield our good batsmen from the new ball". Okay, thanks for clarifying, Mick! So I'm to be the sacrificial lamb that takes the polish off the ball. At least I know my role in the team now. Donkey dropper and cannon fodder.
I think I'm ready to concede that last season's experiment to reinvent myself as a tailend batsman and frontline spinner is all but a dismal failure. So maybe I should just go with this #3 thing. I must admit after last week's 3 hour stint, I feel a lot more comfortable at the crease. It was only when I played a stupid shot that I got myself dismissed this week.
We take the field with only 8 overs to bowl. Our captain Thommo bowls himself from one end. There really should be a law against slinging bowling - he bowls 7 wides in 4 overs, rarely causing the batsman to play at the ball. Defending only 154, those sundries are gold for the opposition. One bright point, Pappy bowling his miserly chinamen from the other end takes a wicket on the last ball of the day. 1 for 24. Can we defend our total next week? Can we finally win a game? And most importantly, will I get a bowl? These questions and more...
In progress scorecard courtesy of CriciWiki
| Posted by JC on Thu 25 Jun | 0 comments |
Shane Watson is injured (true story)
If you know nothing about cricket, are from another planet or have been living under a rock for the last few years, you might be surprised to hear Shane Watson was injured at training two weeks before the Ashes begins. Some have already questioned if Shane Watson could last through 5 days of hard Test cricket. Or 4 overs of bowling in a Twenty20 game. Or a night in a haunted castle.
Watson has had an unlucky run with injuries. Even the tour of England has been one mishap after another. He pulled a hamstring on the escalator at Heathrow Airport, dislocated his right shoulder attempting to pick up his luggage and got a paper cut reading the morning paper. Cotton wool share prices were said to soar when the Australian squad arrived as the coaching staff looked to buy up all available stock. However, they haven't been able to wrap Watson enough to get him through to the First Test unscathed.
| Posted by JC on Wed 24 Jun | 4 comments |
